Little "love" Letters

Dear Kitchen Floor,

I have given up on you completely! Ive tried pinesol, lysol, ammonia, bleach, baking soda, and toothpaste and you refuse to shine! I am over you.

Sincerely,
Who do you think I am Martha Freakin Stewart?!

Dear Scrabble,

I love you to pieces. However, if you could be so kind as to not jump to the very top of my curtains and pull out the threading while you scale your way down. Also when I clean your potty box, please allow it to be fresh for at least 30 minutes! I need to feel some kind of accomplishment. Oh and one more thing sleeping on my face is not ok, I cant see the TV!

Love,
The one who feeds you.

Dear people of walmart,

I understand that there are some great deals here but please refrain from running me over with your cart! The sales will still be there once you kindly go around me! And while I am writing to you lovelies PUHLEASE for the love of all that is good put on some decent clothes when you leave your humble abode!

Sincerely,
I am on a budget too.

Dear Mom,

I freakin love your face! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! I had the best breakfast and mini shopping spree with you! You are the best mom a girl could ask for! Plus your gorgeous, and that gives me high hopes for my "later" years! =D

Love,

Your favorite daughter. Ok only daughter =D

 

Dear Twitter,

I dont love you anymore. You're overated. I cant just go on and say I had a hamburger for lunch, it has to be all witty,funny or breaking newsish. I am just over you.

With Regards,
A Soon to be X-Tweetheart



Dear City of Downey,

Thank you so much for doing me a solid and offering to pick up my xmas tree for free. However I cannot chop my 6-7 feet tall tree in half for you to do so!! So please pick it up in its entirety outside on the curb.

Thanks,
I am a girl not a lumberjack!